I don’t understand why I keep pushing people away. I find it really hard to maintain friendships, especially with those who are kind and understanding towards me, especially those who have similar issues. It upsets me how I keep hurting kind and caring people. I feel terrible about it. I don’t mean to behave this way. I become too dependent and sensitive, and then I end up pushing them away. I try to make them dislike me and want to leave.
It feels like I’m stuck in a never-ending cycle. It’s a complete mess. I don’t know how to change and break this cycle.